Have you always known what you want'd and supposed to do in your life, all your life?
I had this one mason jar that I filled with some lettered chits earlier this year, or past december I believe, sort of wishlist, resolutions or let say my goals for 2015. Only a few weekends away, I poured 'em out, and looked at each of them thoroughly. pretty much none of them felt as important as I wanted them to be, in other words, I hardly could connect to my wishes emotionally, it so felt like, I was just chasing some materialistic goals.
Here is the funny thing though, none of those had characteristic any close to being rapacious.
All of those chits are lying on my table currently. I still have the mason jar, sitting in the temple, with 2 chits in it. I think I want those. for clarity, this time I have dated 'em. w/ a when, perhaps the why will show up, right.
Since this year is almost over, and if nothing, I do have few goals in mind, that are made of ten percent of planning, and 90 of spontaneity, as always, I thought its a good idea to scribble, considering I haven't for most part of the year. This domain is about to expire, and I am not motivated to renew it. which is exactly why I am writing honestly. if I am able to publish it successfully, perhaps I'll hit the 10 years renewal button. The writer's dilemma, well.
To begin w/ I thought I'll pick up form where I left, this is considering, I hardly finished anything this year. as my focus was shifted. and while I mention that, I realized I no longer want to log it all. hey, but this is a review of course, and much needed at that. so right now I have these two letters from december 2014, one was to Santa of course, and other to TS Elliot, on not really, It was a feature for the three photography books that I published. this year unfortunately, there has been none.
Each of these articles are delighting me a little right now, and in rhetorical way, so to say. seeing the books, I am feeling accomplished. ( like hey come on, I did published a lot in 2014 so its okay if nothing in 2015) and the letter to Santa, which is more of a wishlist, gave me another reason to smile, because, fortunately, few of those wishes were fulfilled if not all.
2015 in the traveling part of my life, started with a storm. and yes, literally. probably the most ambitious of the 4 days plan, now I am contemplating, would have been landing in the Salt Lake City in the times of Sundance Festival and Travel Expo and of the Southern Storm. I think I wrote a little a about it earlier this year, so will skip the details. thrilling to the core, but exhaustive is the word, I'll use for this trip.
As the reds and whites of utah canyons were getting blurred in my mind, I took some brain tease challenge. its not easy to study at this age, my favorite excuse these days, I took the certification, I passed, and scheduled 3 more, in the excitement. Here is what is happening right now, so far I have rescheduled them in counts I can not recall myself, and all three are currently scheduled for earlier next year. well, I was busy. Okay, No one is perfect alright.
Incase you're wondering those are all Cisco. Go figure.
The highlight of "how I spent my summer'
I was alone.
You thought wilderness?
No It was a floor in the Gotham City.
I was talking to machines.
But no I still haven;t been able to figure out Time traveling.
Specially since jumping out naked every time, and first thing I need to do is to look for clothes, isn't really an option for me, nah.
There was noise, tunnel or waterfall size?
No, It was definitely not Niagara Falls.
In reality, I was working my tail-off in Manhattan, walking couple of miles almost everyday, and eating the same food, from the upstairs cafe, and well I had no internet.
Yes this place does exist. in New York City.
So when I again got drained out, I in a haste booked my tickets for New Mexico. Well, everyone was going somewhere, and I was stuck. The news is I have postponed the trip twice, and the current plan is for end of January next year. which again is going to get ultra crazy, because, I' kind of will just be back from Los Angeles then. But Hey, why worry about the future right now, the good thing was, I booked Florida as well, and I made it. Yes.
I just realized, many of you would be thinking, domestic travel, big deal or not. I mean, I have nothing to blabber really, if thats the word for the review these days. It'll be 3 year since I visited India, not really missing, India came to visit me and how good is that. As I said before, I am still figuring it out, and on the go that is.
Those 2 Back-to-back trips to California came at perfect time, if not, I would have gone to depression I now think. One brought me a 'close to nature' experience, the other made me realize, no matter who comes and goes, I have to keep walking.
bioluminescence, the word I probably hadn't heard until mid this year, suddenly was all over my google browsing history. The month of July isn't really the ideal time to see it, and a full moon, never. But well, we got lucky. and we weren't even in Central America or Mauritius, feels so good, even now, just going back to that moment in the memory still so fresh.
And there follows Lalaland, i.e. Los Angeles. I don't know what I wanted to do, or I perhaps did but couldn't convince a bird. but for one thing, I really wanted to visit Channel Islands national park. Now thats one contradictory statement of the day. I could have made it, but I stayed confused, and not to let my weekend end up in ruins, I took a trip down-south, from Ventura ( which is one of the hubspot of National Park) and to all the way OceanSide, about 40 miles from San Diego. That drive, on US-1 sort of strengthen my love-and-hate relationship with California.
temperature in 3 digits, and crowded beaches and downtowns, I can go on ramble about it all night I think. To cut it short, there is no part of LA left, that I'd like to explore, Yes, I'd be there often in future, but I think I'll have churn out some alternatives, yup, wait, tell me who all loves LA. I think we have a handful of cards to throw, lets have a slumber party, shall we? oh wait, Are you 30 yet. Kids ;)
Tropical Storms, Hurricane, Erica, Mad rains, 'I want to dive but I cant', Birthday Weekend, 'Oh You're solo?', My brother is going to Burning Man, Ghostbusters : some words I could use to define late August of 2015.
I think I loved florida nonetheless. Miami a little less, perhaps. The place is beautiful, and as much as I was stunned by the colors of the ocean on my trip to Key West, and my time at Bahia Honda, I dint find the drive as pleasurable as I thought it would be. I think winter perhaps is a great time to be there, and so is to all 4 national Parks & Preserve down south. I missed Dry Tortugus, but covered a good part of Biscayne, Everglades and Big Cypress. and considering there was Hurricane warning and all, and never stopping rain, until I did fly out, and I could still cover, key Biscayne and Fort Lauderdale and all the parks and party in the middle, not literally the party part, all by myself, I thought I could pat myself on the back a bit. but there goes the sarcastic me, did I have another option but to keep driving alone?
So Its First week of December, New York City, The temperature is in 50s and wind is less than 10mph, fall colors are faded, and there is no sign of snow yet, and this is when last two years have been so on the other side of the equation, How I could ever forget my first winter in NYC, the famed antarctica boot camp, as i call it. but then, if not snow, it was excessive rains all past months, and i could feel it worst no time but in my Tomorrowworld Festival trip. from the time, that I missed the festival bus, and traveled 14 hours in a cheap & disgusting local bus, to reaching the muddy festival site, and losing my iPhone, and then again missing the right bus back home, because well, I had no magic.
The amount of negative publicity that Tomorrowworld Music Festival in Atlanta gained this year, at one hand it is nothing less appalling, but Inside the site, I feel if it wasn;t raining it would have been perfect, and it really wasn't "that bad" except, well, above. For me, I was only experimenting.
I think my ears can tolerate much more than my eyes can, but 3 days of raving was a little too much for me. still I enjoyed it, and luckily dint have any sad incident to come back home w/ except of course my phone, but thankfully I got the upgrade later.
For one reason, that I took the expensive festival bus ticket was to meet some fellow new yorkers and make some friends over the weekend, but how strange is that, I couldn't even meet any of them while on my way back. so a 50,000 big crowd, few conversations, most of them me very carefully avoiding the stretch and I pretty much came back home friendless, penniless well, not really, but its no thrift.
Now Whether I am going again?
The Answer is not to Atlanta. Think I'll try some local ones I could drive to.
Come again, New Mexico in October, and How i feel this place doesn't really want me there.
I took a quick trip to Austin, in the ACL fest weekend, and now that I mention it, I should scribble it down somewhere in next years' calendar perhaps. Again, Exhaustion is the word, I couldn't get myself together for another solo. so I skipped, and rested all weekend. North Carolina happened in Mid November just before thanksgiving, so I rested again. and I am still resting I guess. bless my old soul you all. I am still writing and to the point to exhaust you all. Haven't this been a perfect revenge strategy. But hey, I haven't written anything since April I have earned it.
Come December, and the time for reviews and resolutions and Xmas - that I have 2 days i.e. One long weekend, and I am somehow not complaining. So far, I haven't cooked no plans. My evernote may say otherwise, but you wont be able to see it. I think I'll keep it a mystery for now.
Having said all that, I feel this year has given me a lot than I am giving it credit for. It my not reflect perfectly balanced on my exhaustive travel accounts, But it just reassured my belief that all I am always up for is experimenting and seeing and doing something new. I was never up for repetition. and I always hated the records. The achievements are always per say. I have been away from twitter for all this time, logging in once in blue moon, and whenever I did, It just looks liked the same as if I didn't miss anything. everyone is standing right where I left them, talking about the same thing, although I am sure, everyone feels they have moved up, high, far ahead in life. I guess thats how the God's eyes must be seeing us, going in circles. That line perhaps was enough of a contribution here today, from my unapologetic philosophical other side. She should go sleep.
If not the tradition, I would like to conclude this post here, But Santa may get upset, as I may not be back very soon. So I am thinking now, what is that my exploratory, wild, adventurous side, want me to do this next year?
Did I mention I bought a new mountain bike this year, and dint even put enough miles to respectfully count on it yet, such shame, I did drive enough though, if I am to take in account the 100 miles I do almost everyday for work.
So for one thing, I think my plan is to go local as much as possible, and put miles on this bike of mine, instead of my air miles accounts.
I think my purest of the wish for the next year is to get myself qualified as an athlete. Doesn't matter what sport, in wilderness or in the city. Future as I see it, lot of weekend exploration, camping and hiking it seems, is on the cards. and Hopefully it will happen, if not how else I would have the heart to avoid my impulsive 4 days circled out national parks pursuits.
The will and opportunity to try some different things here, things that i think I can not do.
for once I have realized today I have still many layers of fear to peel off of my skin, the journey with in is still thousands of miles long and I haven't touched the surface yet.
Publications, Book Writing, New Skills, Lot of Photography, more money in my bank account, I think this will all go on as it always have been. For one, having a wish list is setting out a path to work on for the time to come, and if not, have an open mind to accept the ideas as they pop up in your brain, from time to time, for two, not having a long list is to indirectly say, you're right now comfortable in your own skin and ready for the future for whatever it may be.
Its long time Since I felt that way.