The Bird that got stuck in a Tree

4/08/2014 11:16:00 PM




No More Snow. Yay. Shouldn't I be starting this post with a goodbye to Winter? New York has been crazy past few months, and while, we may giggle & welcome much awaited arrival of Spring and warmer days, the cold, the craziness doesn't really get over or does it. For example, Yesterday, I must have walked about a mile in 3D capable mad rain and then waited at the station for the bus, extra drenched. ( Oh, I lost my umbrella or dropped it somewhere while shopping and dint have time to buy another, Right.) Well, While I haven't seen a single spring flower bloom yet, I would  say, A change is good, any change for the matter even if its in the form of rain. At least its no more subzero and I can put all my excuses to rest and get on with some city life finally.

spring will come and so will happiness. hold on. life will get... warmer. - anita krizzan



Contemplating Change, I think I never loved "change" as much as I do now. part of the hatred

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was the extra work that mom used to put me to whenever she moved furniture in the house. She still does it. I am just thousands of miles away, no more contributing ideas on where to place the bed and where I need the dining table and giving her a helping hand. She is a clean freak, would not like the little dirt thats left under those table legs, or the areas on the floor or wall corners that get ignored. I am either super-neat just like her or super-slovenly. Honestly, a little shifting furniture in the house make it feel like a new one or at least that is what I began to like about this regular change, a habit that I have inherited from my mother, along with other hundreds from both mum and dad, So much as, I have developed extreme hatred for anything routine, included the good for you routines.


Perhaps I can blame my "Writer's Block" on the same habitual hatred. I've been active, writing regularly, had some ideas and plan about the features I wanted to do, and all of a sudden, I am both bored of it, and can not exactly decide what I wan't to put more emphasis on. With way too many things going on in mind, I had been unable to focus on a single draft, and me trying and not succeeding to develop even 2 fair sentences about anything, has been a constant struggle past 1 week. I don't know if this is the definitive block or as one may call it. I forbid myself from researching the term this time. Instead, I thought why not clear few clouds by writing about the khichadi / mix of left-brain's activities and right brain's doings. Looks like I am succeeding, I have finished third paragraph already.



What I have been up to for past 2 weeks, to elaborate that, perhaps would be a good idea to decode the matrix that my head and life is right now. I have been on guilt-trip, multiple at that. I have not done any crazy adventure travel ( in my own definition) this year yet, its been practically 4 months in New York with out getting out of the city for more than a day, the recent trip to Pennsylvania was just Saturday. So being in the house bored me, if not enough, I had one excuse for the all the activities possible, - The cold weather. So came march, I forced some change on me. I watched some "Black & White" Hindi movies ( Remember I did this exercise Late November until december last year but only for English movies) then I changed the music I usually listen to. I looked for Live Radio channels online. ( Always more fun then the regular downloads and youtube - well sometime I get tired of thinking about what to listen next, and of course of repeated songs - so the surprise that radio brings is always extra enjoyable) You may ask what new about radio, - well I haven't listen to radio much since the loud FM channels started. 3rd was to book my air tickets for the Next Adventure - Ah how comforting is the feeling that I have a trip to look forward to. - and 4th, was to declare April & May the two most crucial months of the year, dedicating them both for fitness.


Oh Don't praise me for my achievements as yet. I had it all coming for a long long time. Think about it. A luxury super expensive apartment, that I don't want to move from, with all the facilities, such as pool, sauna, yoga classes and what not, and how many times I have dived in to that pool or attended a class? - Zero times. Thats my first guilt trip. || I have lived in Bangalore, Bay Area thats so close to SFO and of course Delhi But I never explored the city. I have been doing the same to New York. Practically I haven't seen anything of the city in Past 1 year. Thats my second guilt trip. || Coming third is of course standing on the scale and looking down. Oh no one likes it if that needle goes clockwise. I have been extremely lazy, and Totally at the point of a cross-over. Not liked it nope.


when things aren't adding up in your life start subtracting - anon


I think, Its just one thing to watch the scale, but the important thing is to feel right. feel comfortable. I have publicly admitted multiple times that I live in extremes. I am every energetic during my travels, I can be equally lazy at home. I am a slow trekker. My breathing hasn't been correct ever since I landed in bangalore for the first time. The City ruined me. I remember a trek in Himalaya I did, and I was perhaps the slowest of the entire batch. While I managed to climb 16000+ feet altitude, I never said no to the friends / porters those wanted to or helped me, I can still remember how some of the folks were either really annoyed at the fact, that I did climb Junargali ridge, or they were laughing at me, because yes, two porters were holding me hands nonstop up to the climb. Amazing its been 5+ years and I am still digging that negative energy. Here is the fact, I do lack energy and physical strength, and this is something I need to focus more on than anything else, including this blog, if I ever want to finish my 7in7 Goal.


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So just like my home country, the infinity numbered India, Which is awaiting a big political change, I am meandering a drastic change in my lifestyle. Cooking up some plans for long term projects, giving up some not so fruitful tasks, cleaning up the logs, and focussing on personal care. This course of change, though hinders my previous many commitments, I feel, its important to lay spread whatever one has accumulated in the basket over the years, and throw away what is expired, make space for something new.

Its been 5 years since I first started photography, I have so far called my photography alternative and experimental, I have stayed a novice on my own accord. Its time to give that interest a direction, and build something new on it. Its time to experiment on rather something else that has captured my interests and I never had time to discover due to many reasons. Its no good being a Polymoth, but I am one, and thats one thing I can not change, I accept. I feel we spend lot of time thinking about things those we can not do, the clutter we build and keep around us, the people those don't care about you are the people you dig more about then those who care for you and whom you should care in return. One such person is you yourself.

8 passages! I am not sure if I have cured my writer's block yet or the mental block for that matter. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I will still have multiple deadlines, I will still be trying my best to fill in some more extra curricular activities, and goals in the day. But I will still be trying to change something to do something different. I can change, I can bring change. I am not that tree. I am the bird. Trying not to forget it.

Photographs Shot in Last month's Trip to A wildlife sanctuary in Pennsylvania USA - Full Story Here

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